Conflicts in Relationships………


Relationships are the best reflections
on the society, cultures and the civilizations that ever existed. Eventually
everyone will have a relationship
but no matter what the cause, it does not have to mean the end of the relationship.
Conflict is not in and of itself a bad thing. In fact, conflicts
in relationships can be constructive when used as a vehicle for improving
communication. The following four steps can help you use conflict as a tool for
gaining clarity, creating deeper understanding and strengthening relationships.
When you are in the midst of
conflict, take the LEAD to manage it respectfully and calmly.
Listen to
what is being said. Many times, conflict arises from a simple lack of
understanding or miscommunication. Avoid making assumptions about what you
hear. Instead, ask for clarification. For example, “I heard you say X, is that
what you meant?
Explore the
feelings that come up – Sometimes conflict escalates because something about
the situation is an emotional trigger for us. If you’re feeling upset by the
conversation, try to determine where the feeling is coming from. Take several
deep breaths and try to remember that what is happening now is completely
separate from the past. You can manage conflict more effectively if you deal
only with the matter at hand. When you start introducing memories and past
sleights it will be tough to get past the history of bad feelings to work
toward a positive outcome.
Affirm the
other person’s point of view -You don’t have to agree to understand the other
point of view. Simply acknowledging and validating someone’s feelings can be a
powerful tool for resolving conflict positively. At the end of the day, most
people just want to be heard.
Decide on
a fair course of action. Now that you have a clear idea of what the problem is
and where the person is coming from, it is time to explore some solutions.
Throw out some ideas that you can vet together. Choose the soundest option that
you can agree on. Plan to revisit your decision within a specified period of
time to see how you are doing and what changes, if any, need to be made.
 Do you often feel like
your relationships are in a constant crisis? Lets talk.
Posted by: Funke Oguntuga


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