Jealousy in relationships can be considered one of the worst scenarios
to deal with. There are many positive emotions a relationship should embody. Why let
jealousy rear its head? Jealousy is increasingly recognized as a fairly
universal experience across cultures.
Various theories have evolved
with many focusing on various forms of jealousy or hypothetical differences
between male and female jealousy.  Some differentiate between
emotional jealousy which may involve a real or perceived rival for an emotional
bond, and sexual jealousy which involves real or imagined potential
Freud and others have long made a distinction between
pathological jealousy, which is very destructive and some form of normal
jealousy, which is more common and serves to activate partners in a
relationship to protect their bond. Thus, a mild degree of realistic
jealousy may serve to protect a relationship, but the other edge of the sword
is that individuals consumed or obsessed with jealousy may become destructive of
themselves, the relationship, or their partner. 
Destructive forms of jealousy may stem from low self-esteem and
insecurity.  This is further magnified by the real or imagined threat
of losing the object of one’s affection.  Other forms of destructive
jealousy involve possessive forms of jealousy, where the primary motive is not
the preservation of the relationship, but one of control.  Some have
said that jealousy can drive people “mad”.  In extreme cases the
anxiety, upset, and insecurity commonly felt in jealousy can be magnified in a
syndrome similar to post-traumatic stress disorder
(PTSD).  Sleeplessness, hypervigilance, irritability and obsessive
thoughts can develop.  Some individuals may become suicidal, and
sadly, jealousy is often a factor underlying homicides of women by their
spouses or partners. Cultural factors add to the emotional mix of jealousy as
individuals may fear shame or humiliation caused by the real or perceived
infidelity of a spouse.
While sexual rivalry is likely to be a factor in many of the emotions
involved in jealousy, another dimension involves issues of trust and betrayal
of a bond which we perceive as essential to our well being and the security of
our family and children.
Next…….What triggers hatred and how to contain it. You don’t want to miss


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