Ways To Manage People Who Bother You

12

Ever
faced people who bother you? I’m sure all of us have faced such people before.
It’s okay when we have to face them just once or twice, but there are times
when these people emerge in facets of our life where we have to deal with them
on an ongoing basis. They can be business associates, fellow colleagues,
friends, or even family members and relatives. In such cases, we have to learn
how to deal with them. 
1. You can only
change yourself.
When dealing with people, always
remember that it’s not about changing others, but about changing yourself. You
can try to change others, but you may not succeed doing so. The best way to
address the situation is to change how you perceive it and how you react to it.
By changing that, everything else will subsequently change as well.
2. Draw your
boundaries.
Be clear on what you will tolerate
and what you will not tolerate. Then stick with it. You have your own personal
space and it’s your prerogative to protect your space. By drawing the
boundaries, even if just mentally, you are clearer of the kind of behaviors to
expect from others
3. Be upfront about
where you stand.
If the person has a history of spilling into your personal
space, then let him/her know where you stand the next time you communicate.
People aren’t mind readers, and sometimes they may not be aware that they are
infringing on your space. Giving the person some indicators will help.

4.
Be firm when needed.

If the person does not stick within
the boundaries, then enforce them. Give a gentle reminder at first. If he/she
still does not get the hint, then make a call and draw the line right there. I
used to be very relenting in my communications. I would attend to the person
for however long it took. In the end it encroached on my personal space, and I
wasn’t sure if all that time and energy I spent ever did anything too

5.
Ignore them.

Ignoring is effective in the right
moments. When you respond, you give them a reason to continue their behavior.
If you just ignore, they don’t have a choice but to seek out someone else. Not
only that, it also hints to them about their behavior and helps them do some
self-reflection.

6.
Don’t take it personally.

Most of the times, these people
behave the same way around others too. I had a friend who was very negative.
She always had something to criticize whenever we were together. At first I
thought she had something against me, but after I observed her interacting with
our common friends, I realized she was like that with everyone else too.
Realizing it wasn’t anything personal helped me deal with her objectively.

7.
Show kindness.

Often times, they act the way they do
because they are looking for an empathetic ear. Hear what they have to say, and
be empathetic towards them. Give them some friendly act of kindness. Don’t
impose on them, but just be there and empathize. It might well do the trick.
A little kind act from you may take
little effort on your part but mean the world to others.

8.
Help them
.

Beneath the facade is really a cry for help. Check
with them if they need any help, or if there is anything you can do to help
them. Sometimes, it’s possible they require help but they don’t know how to
articulate it. Help them to uncover their problem, then work with them to
analyze

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