20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships

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Family isn’t
always blood.  They’re the people in your life who appreciate having you
in theirs – the ones who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways,
and who not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you
want to be.  These people – your real family – are the ones who truly
matter.
Here are twenty tips to help you find and foster these
special relationships.
  • Free
    yourself from negative people.
    – Spend time with nice people
    who are smart, driven and likeminded.  Relationships should help you,
    not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person
    you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you
    admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little
    brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with
    people who suck the happiness out of you. 
  • Let
    go of those who are already gone.
    – The sad truth is that there
    are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have
    something they need.  When you no longer serve a purpose to them,
    they will leave.  The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll
    eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great
    people you can count on.  We rarely lose friends and lovers, we just
    gradually figure out who our real ones are.  So when people walk away
    from you, let them go.   Your destiny is never tied to anyone
    who leaves you.  It doesn’t mean they are bad people; it just means
    that their part in your story is over.
  • Give
    people you don’t know a fair chance.
    – When you
    look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. 
    Everyone has gone through something that has changed them, and forced them
    to grow.  Every passing face on the street represents a story every
    bit as compelling and complicated as yours.  We meet no ordinary
    people in our lives.  If you give them a chance, everyone has
    something amazing to offer.  So appreciate the possibility of new
    relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer
    work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing   that you are entering into unfamiliar
    territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready
    to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
  • Show
    everyone kindness and respect.
    – Treat everyone with kindness
    and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice,
    but because you are.  There are no boundaries or classes that define
    a group of people that deserve to be respected.  Treat everyone with
    the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same
    level of patience you would have with your baby brother.  People will
    notice your kindness.
  • Accept
    people just the way they are.
    – In most cases it’s
    impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try.  So save
    yourself from needless stress.  Instead of trying to change others,
    give them your support and lead by example.
  •  Encourage others and cheer for them.
    – Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads
    to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be
    happy for those who are making progress.  Cheer for their
    victories.  Be thankful for their blessings, openly.  What goes
    around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for
    will start cheering for you.
  • Be
    your imperfectly perfect self.
    – In this crazy world that’s
    trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being
    your awesome self
    .  And when they laugh at you for being
    different, laugh back at them for being the same.  Spend more time
    with those who make you smile and less time with those who you feel
    pressured to impress.  Be your imperfectly perfect self around
    them.  We are not perfect for everyone, we are only perfect for those
    select few people that really take the time to get to know us and love us
    for who we really are.  And to those select few, being our
    imperfectly perfect self is what they love about us.
  •  Forgive people and move forward.
    Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting
    yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying,
    “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let
    what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the
    remedy.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what
    happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and
    instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your
    life.  Remember, the less time you spend hating the people who hurt
    you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you.
  • Do
    little things every day for others.

    Sometimes those little
    things
    occupy the biggest part of their hearts.  You can’t
    be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few
    people.  Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like
    royalty.
  • Pay
    attention to who your real friends are.
    – As we
    grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and
    more important to have real ones.  Remember, life is kind of like a party. 
    You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some
    laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late.  But
    in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up
    the mess.  And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made
    the mess.  These people are your real friends in life.  They are
    the ones who matter most.
  • Always
    be loyal.
    – True love and real friendship
    aren’t about being inseparable. These relationships are about two people
    being true to each other even when they are separated.  When it comes
    to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a
    priority.  Loyalty is everything.
  • Stay
    in better touch with people who matter to you.

    – In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in
    affection.  Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles
    apart.  So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of
    concern hurts more than angry words.  Stay in touch with those who
    matter to you.  Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re
    worth the extra effort.  Remember, you don’t need a certain number of
    friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.  Paying
    attention to these people is a priority.
  • Keep
    your promises and tell the truth.
    – If you say you’re going to
    do something, DO IT!  If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE
    THERE!  If you say you feel something, MEAN IT!  If you can’t,
    won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE.  It’s always better to tell people
    the truth up front.  Don’t
    play games
    with people’s heads and hearts.  Don’t tell
    half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out;
    half-truths are no better than lies.  Remember, love and friendship
    don’t hurt.  Lying, cheating and screwing with people’s feelings and
    emotions hurts.  Never mess with someone’s feelings just because
    you’re unsure of yours.  Always be open and honest.
  • Give
    what you want to receive.
    – Don’t expect what you are
    not willing to give.  Start practicing the golden rule.  If you
    want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you
    want money, provide value.  It works.  It really is this simple.
  • Say
    what you mean and mean what you say.
    – Give
    the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting
    them to know the unknowable.  Information is the grease that keeps
    the engine of communication functioning.  Start communicating
    clearly.  Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make
    other people try to read yours.  Most problems, big and small, within
    a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad
    communication.
  • Allow
    others to make their own decisions.
    – Do not
    judge others by your own past.  They are living a different life than
    you are.  What might be good for one person may not be good for another. 
    What might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for
    the better.  Allow people to make their own mistakes and their own
    decisions.
  • Talk
    a little less, and listen more.
    – Less advice is often the
    best advice.  People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening
    ear and some positive reinforcement.  What they want to know is often
    already somewhere inside of them.  They just need time to think, be
    and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will
    eventually help them find their direction.
  • Leave
    petty arguments alone.
    – Someone else doesn’t have to
    be wrong for you to be right.  There are many roads to what’s
    right.  And most of the time it just doesn’t matter that much.
  •  Ignore nonconstructive, hurtful
    commentary.
    – No one has the right to judge you.  They might have
    heard your stories, but they didn’t feel what you were going
    through.  No matter what you do, there will always be someone who
    thinks differently.  So concentrate on doing what you know in your
    heart is right.  What most people think and say about you isn’t all
    that important.  What is important is how you feel about yourself.
  • Pay
    attention to your relationship with yourself.

    – One of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the process
    of loving others too much, and forgetting that you are special too. 
    When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the way you
    are, and that what you think and how you feel matters?  When was the
    last time someone told you that you did a good job, or took you someplace,
    simply because they know you feel happy when you’re there?  When was
    the last time that ‘someone’ was YOU?

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