Controlling your emotions in a relationship and everywhere else

34

Does
Your Relationship Control Your Emotions and Your Behavior Even         Though it
Negatively Affects Your Mental and Physical Health?

You must first realize that it’s a problem if you are unable to contain your emotions

If you are in a unhealthy relationship, and you are obsessed with your partner, consider that the basis of your obsession is not love, but fear. That fear is about being alone, fear of being unlovable and unworthy, and the fear of being ignored or abandoned. You may feel incomplete and want someone to complete you.  Your hopes and dreams focus around finding that person who will take care of your fears. 

If you have not been accustomed to a loving nurturing personal relationship, you are willing to wait and hope and try harder to please.

When relationships are a struggle and when they control your happiness, your emotions and your behavior, negatively influencing your health and well-being, it may be possible that you may be measuring the degree of your love by the depth of your anxiety and pain. You are not interested in men that may be kind, stable and reliable because you have become a care-giver especially to partners who appear needy.

 Growing up in a chaotic environment, we learn unhealthy patterns of relating. If our experiences are especially painful growing up, we are often unconsciously driven to recreate similar situations throughout our lives, in an effort to gain control and mastery over them. 

We are terrified of abandonment and we will keep a toxic relationship going no matter what the conditions are. 

 We become addicted to emotional pain.  Because our self-esteem is so low, deep down inside we feel we do not deserve to be happy. We believe that we must earn the right to be happy. Anything and everything is never too much trouble, if it will “help or fix” the person we are involved with.
 Because we all are a culmination of everything that has ever happened to us, we have been conditioned and socialized in a particular way which has contributed to our beliefs and values.   

Every trauma, every hurt, every experience, is recorded in our cells. Our memory is like a computer that stores experiences and information. Our parents and our role models were a significant influence when we were growing up, with regard to the development of our personality, our self-esteem and our belief systems.

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