The Truth About Women, Money and Relationships

22

Not all stories that begin with ‘once
upon a time’ end with ‘…and they lived happily ever after.’ 
Money is
important.
It pays the bills and buys the things we need – or don’t. But where
does money figure in love? How important is money in a relationship? Why are so many women reluctant to talk openly about the
role money plays in their lives and relationships?

Myth: My spouse and I shouldn’t talk about money because it
only leads to fights.
Truth: You can’t have a great
relationship until you can communicate and agree about money.
Why do you think this subject is so
taboo?
 I think it is because money is so
wrapped up in self-worth for a lot of people, and self-esteem. The tradition of
not talking about money and not talking about your salary is something that has
been long-standing over the past 40 years. I think that it’s private because
people feel that they don’t want to reveal that personal part of themselves.
For a lot of people it’s wrapped up in how successful they are as a person. It
is a very powerful force in intimate relationships, because whether you have a
lot of money or a little money,  it’s
always there. 
You don’t ever escape its power.
So if you are married and have money
fights, you are normal.
But if
this is a real problem area for you, there is also an opportunity to improve
your relationship
and maybe even reach agreement with your spouse. I’m not
talking about agreement brought on by surrender, but rather by each person
getting a vote, understanding the other’s view and finding common ground.

Men
and Women are Different
When it comes to money, men tend to
take more risks and don’t save for emergencies. Men use money as a scorecard
and can struggle with self-esteem when there are financial problems.
Women tend to see money more as a
security issue, so they will gravitate toward the rainy-day fund. Because of
their need for security, ladies can have a level of fear.  
 Men and women are different in how they view
money
, and it is largely because they process problems and opportunities
from different vantage point.

On top of the fact that men and
women are different, opposites attract. Chances are, if you’re married, one of
you is good at working numbers (the nerd) and the other one isn’t good at
working numbers (the free spirit). That isn’t the real problem.

The
problem is when the nerd neglects the input of the free spirit or when the free
spirit avoids participating in the financial dealings altogether.

Marriage
is a Partnership
Marriage is a partnership. The
preacher said, “And now you are one.” Both parties need to be
involved in the finances. 
Separating the money and splitting the bills is a
bad idea.

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