The 50/50 relationship



Balanced relationships are not
always a “50-50” situation. Between most people it can be close, but
there are some variations which should be discussed too. For example; consider
a woman (we’ll call her Damilola) who is very timid, who does not feel comfortable
making big decisions. She eventually meets a man (let’s call him Olaniyi) who’s
very confident; who has no problem doing so. Needless to say Olaniyi will likely
make most of the decisions in their relationship — by mutual agreement, spoken
or otherwise. That can be seen as `balanced’ because it’s what Damilola needed, and
no capitulation is involved on her part. There’s no domination, no battle of
wills — so it’s good for both of them. As long as Olaniyi doesn’t take advantage
of her submissiveness, their balance with each other will continue.

Two independent people, whole unto themselves, coming together as equals and evenly splitting the responsibilities of the household finances and child rearing. Even though this was a great step from dependency most woman were finding out they had to cover or hide their unique and natural expression of “Feminine radiance in order to succeed in today’s more Masculine oriented economy.

This model was very beneficial for many years and now seems to be shifting due to the side effects of men and woman becoming more sexually neutralized, unable to give each other what they really want in intimacy.

When we focus on dividing the pie equally, our intimate embrace often becomes more like a business handshake or a business deal than a delicious swoon that dissolves two lovers into a single heart of desire. Ultimately what we have accomplished is protecting our hearts from each other. The second stage partner says “I don’t need a partner and if I let one in it will be 50/50 with

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