A lady recently called me complaining that she cannot find a healthy
romantic partner. She said she keeps choosing men who just don’t know
how to be happy. Regardless of how well their life is going, they
complain about something.
I gave her a straight answer……
BE THE PERSON I WOULD LIKE TO BE WITH
I don’t know where I got it, but I have always had a rule of thumb that I have pretty much lived by.
My rule of thumb has been: “Be the person I would like to be with.”
So, who would I like to be with? I want a partner who cares more
about relating well and cares less about the freedom to express
emotions in negative or immature ways.
That’s what I want, so that’s what I do. This worked out really well
And, I’m not suggesting that anyone should suppress how they feel.
Rather, I see that I have a choice in sharing how I feel. I can choose
to express myself in a mature, more attractive way, which is the way I
would like my partner to express himself. And by doing this myself I
feel I have a right to expect this from my partner.
When I do this, I feel better about myself. When I don’t do this,
and I don’t always, I feel bad about myself for expressing myself in
unhealthy, immature ways, and thus become even unhappier. I do not
expect myself to be perfect, but each time I have chosen to step up to
my own maturity, I see how our connection grows instead of
CAN I BE THE PERSON I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR?
Another lady, who recently came in while I was writing this blog
post, said the same thing I was saying but in a slightly different way,
“Can I be the partner I have been looking for?” Yes!
For those of you looking for a healthy romantic partner, you might
begin by making a list of qualities you are looking for in someone
else, then make sure you are manifesting those qualities yourself.