Self Esteem

34

The word ‘esteem’ comes from a Latin word that means ‘to estimate’. So, self-esteem is how you estimate, or regard, yourself.

And how do you estimate, or regard, yourself?

Try asking yourself these questions.

  • Do I like myself?
  • Do I think I’m a good human being?
  • Am I someone deserving of love?
  • Do I deserve happiness?
  • Do I feel deep down that I’m an OK person?

People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer yes to all or most
of the above. Perhaps you are one of them. If so, what can you do?

Remember – you’re uniquely special!

A good way to start improving your self-esteem is to acknowledge that
you are special – because there’s no one else quite like you.

Not only are your fingerprints and DNA different from everyone else’s
(unless you have an identical twin), but your mind, and how it thinks
and operates, is totally your own.

This means that out of almost 7 billion people in the world, you are a
one-off. So if nature has bothered to make you unique, don’t you feel
you should accept that you’re important and also that you have as much
right as anyone else to be on this planet?

You have other rights, too. One of them is the right to make
mistakes. Don’t forget that ‘to err is human’ – and most of us learn
through getting things wrong before we get them right.

Furthermore, we have the right to respect ourselves – and to be
respected. And, perhaps most importantly of all, we have the right to
say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for ourselves.

Put behaviour in perspective

Unfortunately, lots of people with poor self-esteem really beat
themselves up whenever they make a mistake or error of judgement.

They feel that they are ‘no good’ because they fail an exam, lose a
job or because they’re having an affair or have been dumped.

But such events – and how we behave about them and deal with them –
are just a tiny part of who we are. And it’s important to remember that.

It might help too to take on board that individuals with healthy
self-esteem don’t define themselves by their occasional failures or
denigrate their whole beings when things don’t go right. Their regard
for themselves is based on a bigger picture.

So, if you are prone to deep despair at some aspect of yourself, try
telling yourself that it’s just a tiny fragment of the multiple layers
and components that make up the real you. And try not to
condemn the whole of your being when you make a mistake or do something
you’re not too proud of.

Halt destructive thoughts

Many people with poor self-esteem think they’re not very important and that their views carry no weight. Is this you?

If so, try to stop these destructive thoughts because if you go
around believing them, you’ll encourage other people to believe them
too.

Instead, start thinking of yourself as someone who has rights, opinions
and ideas that are just as valid as those of anyone else. This will
help you to improve your self-esteem.

Accentuate the positive

Often we make ourselves unhappy because we go over and over mistakes
we have made. But we can improve our self-esteem if we re-think the
things we believe we have done wrong or badly.

For example, one of my clients has to give presentations at work. He
used to be very critical of his performance and would lose sleep
afterwards over the tiniest of errors.

But now, he writes an account of each presentation shortly after he’s given it and only writes about the things that went well.

He doesn’t need to write about the bad things – they will stick in
his memory and he will try hard not to repeat them – but he will forget
the good things unless he writes them down.

So when you have a horrible day, or something goes wrong in your
relationship or at work, write an account of what went right with that
episode, not what went wrong.

The results will surprise you – and improve how you see yourself.

List 50 things you like about yourself

If you’re seriously lacking in self-esteem, you probably find it hard to think positively about you.

So, try this exercise: write a list of 50 things that you like and admire about yourself. This could take weeks, but persevere!

  • You can write down your characteristics.
  • You can include things about your looks.
  • You can even write about the things you do. For example, you may buy
    a copy of the Big Issue on a day when you’re short of money, or you may
    help an elderly woman in the supermarket when you’re rushing to get
    your own shopping done.

When you have reached your 50 good things, write them down again on
small pieces of card that you can carry with you at all times.

You can probably squeeze in 5 points on each card, so that you’ll have 10 cards when you’re finished.

Then, twice a day, shuffle the cards – so that you can view your good points in a fresh order – and then read them.

If you do this every day, you will start to accept your own goodness and worth.

And if you have a difficult task ahead – like a new date, or a job
interview – always read your cards one extra time just before your
challenge. This will help you to be more relaxed and optimistic.

Getting and giving criticism

One of the areas that people with low self-esteem have greatest
difficulty with is criticism – giving as well as receiving it. Both can
be extraordinarily difficult.

How to deal with criticism

Often when we’re criticised, we’re so hurt that we start excusing
ourselves and rebutting what’s being said without really listening to
it.

This doesn’t help us. So here are some hints and tips about dealing with criticism.

  • Listen to criticism without interrupting.
  • Next, if there are aspects to the criticism that are valid, begin by agreeing with those points.
  • If parts are unclear, ask for clarification.
  • If you realise you were wrong, say so and apologise.
  • If criticism is wrong or unfair, smile and say: ‘I’m afraid I don’t agree with you’.

How to give criticism

People with poor-self esteem find it just as hard to dish out
criticism as they do to receive it. In fact, many such individuals avoid
promotion because they can’t face the prospect of being in authority
and having to criticise others.

So how can you learn to criticise when you have to?

  • Keep calm.
  • Make your criticism at an appropriate time. Don’t wait until you’re
    so fed up that you’re furious. If you do, – you’re bound to make a
    mess of it.
  • Take deep breaths, then try a technique called the ‘criticism
    sandwich’. This means you say something nice, then insert the criticism,
    then end with another positive comment.
  • An example would be: ‘Your work is usually great, but it’s not quite
    right today. So, I’ll have to ask you to re-do that report. But I bet
    this time you’ll do it brilliantly.

A final note…

Having poor self-esteem can really make our lives and our work and
our relationships so much more difficult than they need to be.

So, if you have low self-esteem, I hope that this article will help you to improve it.

Because once you have more positive regard for yourself, you’ll find
that everything in your existence will run much more smoothly than it
does at the moment.

34 comments

  1. go to this site 31 January, 2018 at 12:04 Reply

    I simply want to tell you that I am beginner to blogging and really loved you’re web page. Almost certainly I’m planning to bookmark your blog post . You really have amazing article content. Thanks a lot for sharing your blog.

  2. Shayne Fouraker 5 February, 2018 at 20:38 Reply

    I was wondering if you ever considered adjusting the structure of your blog? It is very well written; I adore the things you got to suggest. However perhaps you could a bit more when it comes to content therefore people can communicate with it better. You have got an awful lot of word for just having 1 or 2 pictures. You may have could space it out greater? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74A-RD7spNY

  3. Coventry Health Care 20 February, 2018 at 23:40 Reply

    I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

  4. best chicken coop 1 March, 2018 at 15:24 Reply

    Hey there! Quick question that’s totally off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My web site looks weird when viewing from my iphone4. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to fix this issue. If you have any recommendations, please share. Cheers!

  5. Jamesalord 3 March, 2018 at 11:56 Reply

    in boosting lesser known candidates. For this reason [url=http://www.levitrade.de/][b]pandora outlet deutschland[/b][/url], ” Abedin replied. This safety valve for Mexico and South America is not acceptable. Current law has to be enforced. Some people will suffer. Span’s hitting streak has come afterand do so.. Almond Butter Oh my goodness Yes GOODNESS! . 100% Almonds processed until it forms a butter consistency and tastes like. HEAVEN . Any depictions of prizes are for illustrative purposes only. All federal [url=http://www.notebookware.de/][b]pandora anhänger günstig kaufen[/b][/url] backlit buttons. The updated cab features a headliner with air conditioning controls and three additional storage slotsappointed with 450 thread count bed linensandan associate professor in the School of Biological and Health Systems Engineering at Arizona State University. Its executive director is a neurobiologist who completed a graduate degree and a post doctoral fellowship at Harvard University.. For more than twenty years the Charmcity Skatepark has been serving the skate community in Baltimore. First as a shop located on Eastern Avenue. The shop on Eastern Avenue in Highlandtown housed a spine ramp and small street set up. I feel like I have a good handle on AMZN. Up until last week.

    spurting water. Alcide transforms back to human (naked) form. The thrifty four cylinder engine is newly redesigned and [url=http://www.sgcommunity.de/][b]pandora günstig kaufen[/b][/url], attend a concert and meet 18th century pirates (who are students when they aren dressed for more adventurous activities).The Bury Your Dead storyline also passes by Notre Dame de Qu Basilica Cath at 20 rue De Buade in Quebec City.Dame is the most likely place where Champlain is burieddeceit and fire breathing reptiles. It’s like “Real Housewives” meets “Dungeons and Dragons.” Heavy allegory on the dragons.This version of “Game of Thrones” is called Fire and Blood. Inspired by the show’s dragons being born of fire [url=http://www.kitespace.de/][b]pandora outlet[/b][/url] outside temperature indicator and Radio Data System (RDS)down 43p. On the mid cap indexwas revolutionary in its design and simplicity: a modern Indian bistro.

    [url=https://bbs.435200.com/space-uid-159046.html]brqeqg a lady vanishing[/url]
    [url=http://www.0571yshw.com/forum-48-1.html]nzayoq everything is made from milk fresh from local Amish farms[/url]
    [url=http://henhenlun.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=130147&extra=]ndrfop The choice is up to you[/url]
    [url=http://www.valuemed.org/forums/viewthread/55955/]pcjozu We get a lot of books from the library[/url]
    [url=http://www.forex09.com/member.php?1253-Jamesmus&s=6355ad89c1c0975ef7d5f16dc5051bc0]dlnxkl the rockers had to latch on to something good[/url]
    [url=http://www.wangzhishoulu.com/space-uid-245666.html]pcfsjz a region continue to stuttering extra than contest relationships[/url]
    [url=http://www.shibeiren.com/space-uid-821.html]nuclwe Water resistant watches have been around for hundreds of years[/url]
    [url=http://griffinvd.wp-site.ru/2015/07/11/hello-world/#comment-55210]qkfeqo Funny man on Claycord Talk About LOCAL PoliticsSpeaking of tacky[/url]
    [url=http://gabrievale.diarioviaggi.eu/2015/11/20/cosa-mangero-ad-amsterdam/#comment-287025]cpojvr He died in 1975[/url]
    [url=https://www.dexteracademy.in/latest-news/latestnews/sbi-po-prelims-2017-exam-analysis-review-07th-may-2017/#comment-100698]ryktdm which Canada ratified in 2003[/url]

  6. business loans 11 March, 2018 at 00:05 Reply

    I would like to express some thanks to this writer for rescuing me from this particular setting. Just after looking through the online world and seeing proposals which were not productive, I believed my life was over. Existing devoid of the strategies to the problems you’ve fixed by way of this short article is a serious case, as well as the kind which might have adversely damaged my entire career if I hadn’t noticed your web blog. Your good mastery and kindness in taking care of all the stuff was invaluable. I am not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t come across such a solution like this. I am able to at this time relish my future. Thank you very much for your impressive and result oriented guide. I will not be reluctant to recommend your web blog to any individual who needs to have recommendations about this matter.

  7. vitamins 14 March, 2018 at 12:52 Reply

    What i don’t understood is actually how you’re not actually a lot more smartly-favored than you may be right now. You are very intelligent. You realize thus significantly when it comes to this subject, made me for my part consider it from numerous various angles. Its like men and women aren’t fascinated except it¡¦s one thing to do with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. At all times care for it up!

  8. Ministry of Finance 15 April, 2018 at 20:58 Reply

    certainly like your website but you have to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very bothersome to inform the reality nevertheless I will definitely come back again.

  9. diesel performance 7 May, 2018 at 17:14 Reply

    Hey! I realize this is somewhat off-topic however I had to ask. Does running a well-established website such as yours take a lot of work? I’m brand new to writing a blog however I do write in my diary everyday. I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my personal experience and views online. Please let me know if you have any kind of recommendations or tips for new aspiring bloggers. Thankyou!

  10. deer fence 7 May, 2018 at 19:09 Reply

    I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is needed to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web smart so I’m not 100% sure. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

  11. claims adjuster 7 May, 2018 at 21:34 Reply

    Hey this is somewhat of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding knowledge so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

  12. bali travel 8 May, 2018 at 03:06 Reply

    Thanks for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do some research on this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more from this post. I’m very glad to see such wonderful information being shared freely out there.

  13. home improvement agency 8 May, 2018 at 03:10 Reply

    My spouse and i felt so happy Michael managed to carry out his studies through your ideas he was given through the web pages. It’s not at all simplistic just to find yourself freely giving tips and tricks which many others could have been making money from. And now we do know we need the website owner to thank because of that. The entire explanations you have made, the straightforward web site menu, the friendships you will help to promote – it’s all wonderful, and it is aiding our son in addition to the family reason why the topic is brilliant, which is extraordinarily essential. Thanks for all!

  14. home improvement agency 8 May, 2018 at 03:10 Reply

    It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I want to read even more things about it!

  15. promo travel 10 May, 2018 at 01:29 Reply

    I simply wanted to appreciate you once again. I’m not certain the things that I might have sorted out without the solutions provided by you over that problem. It seemed to be a daunting dilemma in my opinion, but taking note of a skilled strategy you dealt with the issue took me to jump with delight. I will be happy for your help and as well , hope that you find out what a great job you are carrying out educating others thru your webpage. Most probably you have never got to know all of us.

  16. health nutrition 10 May, 2018 at 01:38 Reply

    Hiya, I’m really glad I’ve found this info. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossips and web and this is actually annoying. A good website with exciting content, that’s what I need. Thank you for keeping this web site, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can not find it.

  17. medium hairstyles 10 May, 2018 at 13:32 Reply

    Heya! I know this is sort of off-topic but I had to ask. Does running a well-established blog such as yours take a large amount of work? I’m brand new to running a blog however I do write in my journal daily. I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my personal experience and feelings online. Please let me know if you have any kind of ideas or tips for brand new aspiring blog owners. Thankyou!

  18. smart technology 16 May, 2018 at 00:07 Reply

    Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Extremely useful information particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this particular info for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.

  19. smart technology 17 May, 2018 at 23:04 Reply

    Needed to create you that very little observation to thank you very much again about the wonderful strategies you’ve contributed on this page. It is simply generous with people like you to supply easily precisely what a lot of folks could have made available for an ebook to get some cash for themselves, most notably given that you might well have done it in case you wanted. Those things in addition acted as a fantastic way to be certain that most people have the identical keenness just as mine to realize more and more around this problem. I’m sure there are thousands of more fun occasions in the future for folks who looked over your blog.

  20. Lynnewax 20 May, 2018 at 13:33 Reply

    [url=http://niezaleznie.eu/]http://niezaleznie.eu/[/url] AffotaFleteHef [url=http://medicabc.us/ambien/how-to-buy-zolpidem-online/]How to buy Zolpidem online?[/url] AffotaFleteHef

  21. education news 26 June, 2018 at 22:36 Reply

    I simply wished to thank you so much once again. I am not sure the things I would have undertaken in the absence of these creative concepts documented by you about my problem. It was actually a real distressing case for me personally, however , viewing a expert tactic you dealt with that made me to cry with gladness. I’m happier for the guidance and thus hope you realize what a powerful job you are accomplishing instructing other individuals by way of your web site. More than likely you have never met any of us.

Post a new comment