Once in a while, (for some persons,
it could be very often), someone tries to put you down accidentally or
deliberately. In this article, I am not
discussing about the psychology part. You can find the answer in other
articles, books, and other people beside me. Here I am discussing about how to
counterattack when someone tries to put you down in an elegant way in
Firstly, we discuss what type of attack when they try to put you down. Just
like I said in the first place, the attack does not have to be an insult. It
even can be a polite remark. The one who attacks you does not necessarily have
a bad intention. They might have a noble intent when they attack you. Actually,
the things when they say to put you down does not even merit the word ‘attack’.
I put the word ‘attack’ because I lack the better word of it.
Examples can explain the attack better compared to when I describe it in
Let’s assume, you are not well off (or to simply put it bluntly, you are not
rich and prosper). You don’t have a car. You still live in your parents house
even after you reach your 30 .You are still holding the lower position job, not
the high ranking job.
You meet your uncle who has too much money in his hand. Your uncle makes a remark
about yourself, “Why do you still live with your parents? You are already 31
years old.” Well, the problem is not that you don’t want to live by your own.
But the rent is high nowadays.
Later your insensitive uncle makes a remark again about your job. “What’s
your job? A junior accountant? You need to find a better job.”
Or the attack could be about your physical appearance. You could be too
short, too skinny, too fat, have too much acne on your face. Or you are the
ugliest person in your family. For every single family photos (no exception),
you look like an insensitive outsider who had pushed way into the group and had
the picture taken with them. You are too skinny. You should eat more. You
are too fat. You should exercise. I don’t know why you look nothing like your
sibling. You are so ugly. Do you have any boy to have ever kissed you?
The attack which is disguised in the polite remark could even scratch your
sexual history. “Oh, poor Alex. You are a 40-year-old virgin. I wonder your
life is still worthwhile or not.”
This polite attack remark is often used by people when converse about your
marital status. Women get this attack often. “Hah, you are already in your
mid-30. But you are still not married yet. Poor Alice. Let me find you a
husband. You must feel lonely.” It’s not that you don’t want to get married.
But you have a hard time to find a decent guy. All the guys you have met are
already taken, or a wolf, or a chump.
To counterattack this attack,
Firstly, find your attacker’s situation which is contrast than yours.
For the insensitive rich uncle, the situation is his financial situation
which is much better than yours. Or it could be his career/job which is much
more prestigious than yours.
For someone who gives a remark about the physical appearance, the situation
is his/her physical appearance which is much better than yours.
For someone who gives remark about your sexual history, the situation is
his/her sexual history where he/she has consummated sexual encounters while you
For someone who likes to tease your marital status, the situation is their
Secondly, make their situations looks lame and superficial. You need to
be at least on the verge of spirituality to be able to do this. If you don’t
have inspiration, you can try to pick from the examples below.
Being rich and prosper? There are many unhappy rich and prosper people in
this world. Sometimes in being rich, people can loose perspective. There are
somethings that couldn’t be achieved by money. For example, finding idealists
approval. In some situations, money can’t buy you love.
Having good physical appearance is not a guarantee to live a happily life.
Many good looking people commit suicide.
Having an active sexual life? There are many people who have active sexual
life and yet live miserably.
Having a marriage life? There are many unhappy people trapped in the
Thirdly, you need to make your ‘lacking’ life looks much more fulfilling
and juicy. Again, I need to remind you that you need to be quite spiritual to
be able to pull this stunt.
Being broke or not well off? You have connections with people as your
assets. You have blue sky to be grateful every day. You have sunshine every
Being an ugly person? You have mind, emotion, and character at your
disposal. For some people, because they can not depend on their physical
feature to survive in this cruel cruel world, they usually develop their
character and skills. Use that as your assets.
Being a 40-year-old virgin? There are many pleasures beside pleasures of the
loin. Pleasure of doing something artistic. Pleasure of contributing to society
or humanity. Pleasure of achieving something from hard work.
Being a single in your mid-thirty? You have a freedom. You can connect to
people more easily. Marriage sometimes become the barrier of deep and lovely
connection between people. You can focus on your career as well.
Fourthly, add sarcasm and/or a playful tone. If you reply back angrily
and in emotional tone, you come as desperate and needy person. You want to ooze
the aura of someone who lives fulfilling and juicy life. You want to present
yourself as a playful person. You don’t take these attacks seriously. You are a
happy person. You don’t have time to dwell with the childish attacks.