Don’t Take Me for Granted!

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Nobody likes being taken for granted. I’m pretty sure you certainly
don’t like it. And I don’t like it either. It’s kind of like being single and
heartbroken; nobody likes it (unless you really love eating ice cream out of
the container and watching romantic movies in your pajamas. Alone. In the dark.
With no one there to cradle you in their loving arms).
Okay, that just got really depressing really quickly.
But now that I’ve finished crying, I’m going to continue.
It’s a bad feeling. Especially when someone you love starts
taking you for granted. This happens a lot in relationships
(romantic and platonic, but we’re going to talk about this in
regards to romance). It takes a lot of awareness and a pretty open mind to be
able to not take your significant other for granted. When you
really like who someone currently is, and how they act and behave, and how you
relate to each other, it’s easy to just assume that that’s how it’s always
going to be. And then it changes. And that’s when you’re supposed to freak out.
Or hopefully not freak out, which is the result I’m hoping to
help you achieve after reading this post.
You need to understand
that people change. Everyone does. It is completely, utterly and universally
impossible not to, and somehow that’s terrifying to a lot of people. Why? I
don’t know. People are out of control. I gave up trying to understand their
irrational fears long ago. All I can say is that I’m glad I came from space. I
don’t think I could handle being human.
Now that we’ve accepted the fact that people will change, we
need to remember that our significant others are people too (whoa,
groundbreaking discovery, Row), and therefore they will also be
changing. And that may or may not be a difficult thing for you to deal with.
I’ve experienced first hand the challenges of having your significant other
change, so I understand how difficult it can be. And while that’s happening,
it’s easy to become confused and conflicted. We start experiencing minor
conflicts of which can be frustrating, because we don’t know what the source of
the conflict is.
Probably the worst
thing about this is that we start going about fixing these problems in the
wrong way, and that just adds a whole level of chaos to the mix. For example,
say your significant other isn’t as clingy as they used to be, or they start
dressing differently, or they start relating to you in a different way. They
might be ways that you aren’t completely fond of or comfortable with, or you
might think that they don’t love you as much as they used to, or your opinion
doesn’t matter anymore, and therefore you might try confronting them about it
and sabotage these changes because you don’t like them.
DON’T DO IT!

The minute you start confronting these changes in a selfish,
negative way, the minute everything starts falling apart. What’s happening is
that this person is changing, naturally, as an individual person. You can’t
stop them, and if you do, you will be making them unhappy. You can’t prevent
someone from changing, and if you try to, you will be very disappointed,
and ultimately may end up heartbroken at some point or another.
strongly encourage you to approach this
situation with as much openness and mindfulness as possible. Instead of trying
to hold your significant other back, make an effort to allow them
to change. It may be uncomfortable and it may not always go your possibly
selfish way, but you can’t stop it, and you shouldn’t try to. If you really
don’t like who a person is becoming, then you may have to (as very unfortunate
as it may be) let that person go, and find someone who is vibrating more on
your level. On a more positive note, in some cases change can be a really
wonderful thing for relationships…but I know that that isn’t always the case.
And unfortunately, if it’s not, there’s no painless way to handle this
situation. It can be emotionally challenging and painful, but we can learn to
handle it in the best way possible.
Welcome to the world of relationships!
Yours truly,

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