Jealousy Survival Tips: “I’m Jealous and I Don’t Know Why!” 2

60

 If so, write down a brief account
of what you remember. 

Pay particular attention to any similarities between this
memory of the past and your more recent memory of being jealous.

These clues could point to a connection. There might be unresolved pain that
you are holding on to about this past that is creeping into your present.
The memory from long ago may not
seem to be about jealousy at all. Perhaps, instead, it instilled in you
messages about being betrayed, having to stay “on guard” against the “bad”
things or not having enough of something.
It there are no obvious
connections between the past memory and your recollection of being jealous, you
could keep going and pull up another past memory or you might take a break for
now. Be gentle with yourself. Clarity will come to you in time.
Heal
and release the past
Sam is surprised at what he finds
when he looks into his past in relation to his jealousy. A memory from
childhood comes to him when he does this exercise.
He vividly remembers having to
awaken his alcoholic father each morning so that he could stumble into work. As
the oldest in the family, this was always Sam’s “job” as his mother tried to
get her younger siblings ready for school.
There were also the loud arguments
and broken furniture that Sam remembers when his father had more than usual to
drink that day.
These were difficult times for
Sam growing up, but there were also many times when his father’s alcoholism
wasn’t as evident and his household was a happier place.
Sam is able to see that, even
despite the better times, he is still carrying around hurt feelings and pain
from these past experiences.
He can recognize how being on
guard for one of his father’s drunken tirades and not being able to count on the
primary person in his life were messages cemented by these experiences.
For Sam, there is a connection
between these messages and his overriding feelings of mistrust and wariness
which usually manifest as jealousy.
When you can make a connection
and gain a clearer understanding of what might be fueling your jealousy, follow
up by asking yourself what you need in order to heal this part of yourself.
It may take time to fully release
the hold this event– or series or events– might have on you. You can, however,
begin to feel a sense of relief as you gradually heal. You best know what you
need to do in order to begin the healing.
Stay
tuned in to yourself and keep listening and following through

As you start releasing the pain
of the past, you will most likely find that your jealousy eases up and can even
dissolve.

60 comments

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