Love And Divorce: I Knew He Was A Wrong Choice For Me, But I Married Him Anyway- Final Part

57
                                                      Love does not
always ‘fix.’
I said earlier
that no matter what I did, nothing changed. That’s not entirely true. I
changed.
God
took my disobedience and exchanged it for priceless truth. He taught me how to
run to Him, and every time He met me with strength and wisdom that I did not
possess on my own. I learned how to pray and trust on an entirely different
level. I learned that real worship doesn’t just happen on a warm and fuzzy
Sunday morning. Real
worship happens when you remain faithful in the trenches day after day even
though your life is falling apart around you
. I learned what it
means to be truly happy despite your circumstances.
Real
joy comes from God alone and cannot be taken from you when life gets hard.
Little by little, year after year, through stubborn determination, I learned. I
learned what real love is. You see, the truth is, I did have a love affair. I
fell so desperately in love with God during those awful years, andthat is
how I survived.
 I
had no one else to turn to. God was all I had, and I learned that He is all I
need.
I learned that His love conquers all, and that His love is enough.
I disobeyed God
and walked willingly into a situation with an outcome I could never have
foreseen. But God, in His grace and mercy, didn’t abandon me. He
followed me
. He took my hand and walked with me on my journey, even
though it was not His plan. He protected me and comforted me.

He never once said, “I told
you so.”

He
never once – not one time – left my side. He has never condemned me. He is
gentle in His correction and passionate in His love for me.
I
will be your God throughout your lifetime — until your hair is white with age.
I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.
(Isaiah 46:4)
I am not
advocating divorce. I hope that is not what you take from my story. I want to
impress upon you the unconditional love of a God who passionately pursues us. A
God who redeems all of our mistakes. A God who runs after us into our storm
with an umbrella and an anchor. He is our refuge and our strength (Psalm 46:1). God is
our rock, our fortress, our deliverer
 (Psalm 18:2). He will
never leave us or abandon us
(Hebrews 13:5) even in our
disobedience.
And
after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called
you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen
and establish you. (1 Peter 5:10)
Three
years have passed since God brought me out of that situation. He has taken me
on a journey of healing that has been so amazing. I no longer live in fear or
feel the incredible pain that was my constant companion for nearly my entire
adult life. He has put my heart back together, replacing the missing pieces
with pieces of His own heart. He has wiped away my regrets and my shame along
with my tears. He is my perfect husband who knows me better than anyone. He
cherishes me and protects me, and I am precious to Him. He speaks only words of
life, and if I could see His eyes, I know they would be filled, not with hatred
or contempt, but with great love. He is the forever faithful love of my life. I
know this today more than ever before.
For
the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will take
delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He
will rejoice over you with joyful songs. (Zephaniah 3:17)
I
hope that you feel the love of God today and every day no matter where you are
in life or what you are going through. In gain and lack, in peace and turmoil,
in hope and despair, God is a good God. He loves you unconditionally. This is
my prayer for you always.

I pray that from
His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength
through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your heart as you trust in
Him. That your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And
may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how
long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though
it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all
the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
 (Ephesians 3:16-19)

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