When Should You Give Your Partner a Second Chance? -Yetunde Olasiyan


Hmmm, second chances. A partner who has professed and pledged undying love for you in public, private, social media, among friends and family(even before his ancestors if possible) is suddenly caught neck deep in an affair – be it emotional, physical or secret affair.

In the case of emotional affairs, he feels he is simply chatting and texting and that shouldn’t count as anything untoward. So far he hasn’t taken it a notch higher in terms of active dating then, he isn’t in the wrong. Those who engage in secret affair do not wish their partners to know. They try to cover their tracks but like the title of Teju Cole’s book, ‘everyday is for the thief.’

Now, the crux of the matter here is that after you have caught your partner in either of the scenarios, he begs for forgiveness like his life depends on it. He claims he only got carried away for a moment but he or she is still in love with you. You forgive him or her, yet you know very well in your heart that he will still do it again and again. But because he has begged you, you hang on to hope, the hope of a faithfulness that exists only in your head but apparently doesn’t exist with your partner.

Seriously, has second chances been abused? Why do some people beg you and still go back to the same thing over and over again. Is it that they take their partners for granted? Is it just about ‘let me beg him/her and then cover my tracks well next time’? How many people actually beg for a second chance with the whole of their heart and with the readiness to change?
Take for example, a man who beats his wife for whatever reason, begs for a second chance. He does everything possible to win her back until one day, the devil in him rears it’s ugly head again, and he beats her, yet again. This time he compensates by changing her car. She hangs on, because she loves him and he doesn’t beat her all the time.
A guy begs his girlfriend for forgiveness after cheating and getting caught. He cries bitterly, begs like his life depends on it. Girl sees genuineness, forgives and they move on. Few weeks later, guy is back to his vomit.
How do we explain these strange human tendencies? Do we say it’s a weakness that’s beyond them, or it isn’t ordinary, or they just want to eat their cake and have it? Or they don’t want to commit to one partner?
When is it right to give another chance? Or is it better to do away with such people after a first offence? I’ll be waiting to read insightful and honest opinions in the comment box. And if you’ve got such an experience, kindly share and let’s learn.

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