High Heels And Low Expectations: The Lingering Frustrations Of Being A Nigerian Woman



There are times when being a Nigerian woman is an awesome experience. Step out onto a random street in any part of the country and you will see us in all our glory: well-dressed, in high heels or flats shoes, with carefully styled hair. With the right support system of family, friends and dedicated groups, a Nigerian woman can achieve greatness both in her career and in her personal life. With internet services now becoming more ubiquitous, she can take online courses, buy shoes and makeup from a web vendor, and catch up on current events and news in Nigeria and around the world on social media and news outlets.

Life is good-especially when you are an educated and employed Nigerian woman. It is not perfect, but it is mostly tolerable.

With all of these things going on, some frustrations are relegated to the back of your mind, where they linger and fester-until something happens which makes your reach for them to bring them out to play.

Recently, I was in a state of relative bliss when I stumbled on an article published by the Nigerian Newspaper, Vanguard. On its website, I read an interview they had with Onari Duke, a Legal Practitioner and former First Lady of Cross River State in Nigeria: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/04/laws-still-allow-men-beat-wives-mrs-duke-ex-cross-river-first-lady/. She answered questions about the recently rejected Gender Equality Bill by the Nigerian National Assembly. Her answers were intelligent, informative and very clear. I was happy to read the interview. I thought ‘Yes! This bill is a step in the right direction for Nigeria; the sponsors of the bill will need to present it again after they have made the necessary adjustments’.

I should have stopped reading when I got to the end of the article, but somehow, I found myself scrolling down to the toxic wasteland that was the comments section.

The comments were disgusting. To paraphrase one of such comments, ‘Women deserve to be beaten if they are being too stubborn’.

I suddenly felt very sad to be a Nigerian woman. All the hidden frustrations associated with this title flashed before my eyes;

  • Having to be extra-vocal in social settings when an injustice is perpetuated against me or any other woman,
  • Having to develop a thick skin towards sexist remarks made to me by male colleagues or friends who should know better,
  • Having to become selectively deaf to comments insinuating that being unmarried in my thirties cancels out any other achievement I have made in life,
  • Having to turn a blind eye to the lewd looks in some men’s eyes when they ask me who ‘takes care of me’.

I thought about widows in Nigeria who are in a constant battle to inherit the properties of their late husbands.

I thought about wives being beaten by their husbands, but remaining in their marriages because they feel it is better to be married and beaten to a pulp than to file for divorce.

I thought about teenage girls who succumb to abuse from male teachers and say nothing, because they believe that their voices do not matter.

I thought about young girls in some parts of the country who do not have access to education, because the education of their male relatives has been prioritized over theirs.

These and so many other examples are enough to make one have little or no expectations from Nigeria when it comes to treating both men and women with equal respect and dignity.

But things are looking up. I re-read the article and smiled. Nigerian women have been gathering up steam for years, and society has no choice but to listen to what we have to say. I will not lower my expectations; I will keep them at optimal levels as I hope for the dream of gender equality in Nigeria to become a reality.

The noise we are making will be heard everywhere, and it will not be able to be ignored anymore.

Gender equality in Nigeria will become the norm, not the exception.

Ivie Eke

Blog: www.classicallyivy.com

Instagram: @classicallyivy


Twitter: @ivysoclassy.


  1. www.kenghan.com 1 August, 2017 at 18:57 Reply

    Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets
    I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest
    twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite
    some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this.
    Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog
    and I look forward to your new updates.

  2. Elise 1 August, 2017 at 23:53 Reply

    Good post. I learn something new and challenging on websites
    I stumbleupon everyday. It’s always helpful to read through content from other
    writers and use a little something from other web sites.

  3. www.jjxtech.com 2 August, 2017 at 07:44 Reply

    Right here is the perfect website for anybody who would like to find out about this topic.
    You realize a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not that I really will need to…HaHa).
    You definitely put a fresh spin on a subject
    which has been discussed for years. Great stuff, just great!

  4. Virgilio 3 August, 2017 at 06:43 Reply

    An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment.

    I do think that you should publish more about this topic, it
    may not be a taboo subject but typically people don’t discuss such topics.
    To the next! Cheers!!

  5. Ted 4 August, 2017 at 04:31 Reply

    Wow, superb weblog structure! How lengthy have you ever been blogging for?
    you make blogging look easy. The full look of your website is wonderful, let alone the content

  6. ak500 key programmer 4 August, 2017 at 07:32 Reply

    You actually make it appear so easy along with your presentation but I to find this topic to
    be actually one thing that I feel I’d by no means understand.
    It seems too complex and extremely huge for me. I’m taking a look ahead for your next post, I will try to get the hold of it!

  7. obd ii code 4 August, 2017 at 08:51 Reply

    Fantastic beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site,
    how can i subscribe for a blog web site? The account aided me a acceptable deal.
    I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear concept

  8. http://smdservicesllc.com/ 4 August, 2017 at 11:17 Reply

    May I simply just say what a relief to discover a
    person that actually knows what they are talking about over
    the internet. You certainly understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important.
    More and more people have to read this and understand
    this side of your story. I can’t believe you aren’t more popular given that you definitely possess the gift.

  9. exhaust pipes carry 4 August, 2017 at 20:37 Reply

    Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied
    on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence
    on just posting videos to your blog when you could be
    giving us something informative to read?

  10. advertising podcast 4 August, 2017 at 22:22 Reply

    I absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s to be exactly what I’m looking for.
    Do you offer guest writers to write content for you personally?
    I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write about
    here. Again, awesome blog!

  11. Michael 4 August, 2017 at 23:27 Reply

    Hello there, I found your site by means of Google whilst searching
    for a comparable topic, your website got here up, it seems to be good.
    I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
    Hi there, just was aware of your blog via Google, and located that it is truly informative.
    I’m going to be careful for brussels. I’ll appreciate in case
    you proceed this in future. Many folks will be benefited out of your writing.

  12. Dorine 5 August, 2017 at 03:49 Reply

    Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask.
    Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest writing
    a blog article or vice-versa? My website discusses a lot of the
    same topics as yours and I believe we could greatly benefit from each other.
    If you happen to be interested feel free to shoot
    me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Superb blog by the way!

  13. podcast listeners 5 August, 2017 at 07:37 Reply

    I am extremely inspired together with your writing talents
    and also with the structure to your blog. Is that this a paid subject matter or did
    you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it’s uncommon to see
    a great weblog like this one nowadays..

  14. www.mokhtasat.com 5 August, 2017 at 22:00 Reply

    I simply could not go away your website prior to suggesting
    that I extremely enjoyed the standard info an individual provide in your guests?
    Is gonna be back incessantly to inspect new posts

  15. exhaust manifold burns 6 August, 2017 at 00:29 Reply

    With havin so much content do you ever run into any
    issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My blog has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it looks like
    a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without
    my permission. Do you know any techniques to
    help protect against content from being stolen? I’d certainly appreciate it.

  16. Shari 6 August, 2017 at 01:14 Reply

    Great weblog right here! Also your website a lot up very fast!
    What web host are you the usage of? Can I get your affiliate link
    to your host? I wish my website loaded up as fast as yours lol

  17. Rosaline 6 August, 2017 at 19:34 Reply

    Just want to say your article is as astonishing. The clearness in your post is simply cool and i could assume you
    are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming
    post. Thanks a million and please continue the rewarding work.

  18. Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior 6 August, 2017 at 19:40 Reply

    I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be
    just what I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers to
    write content for you? I wouldn’t mind publishing a
    post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write concerning here.
    Again, awesome blog!

  19. avon business 7 August, 2017 at 04:51 Reply

    hey there and thank you for your information – I’ve
    definitely picked up something new from right here.
    I did however expertise a few technical points using this website, since I experienced to reload the site lots of times previous to I could get it to load properly.
    I had been wondering if your web host is OK? Not that
    I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will often affect your
    placement in google and can damage your quality score if advertising
    and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I am adding this RSS to my email and could look out for much more of your respective fascinating content.
    Ensure that you update this again soon.

  20. apple iphone 7 August, 2017 at 19:59 Reply

    Howdy! This post could not be written any better!
    Reading through this post reminds me of my good old room mate!
    He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this post to him.
    Fairly certain he will have a good read.
    Thanks for sharing!

  21. www.koreaherb.or.kr 8 August, 2017 at 06:19 Reply

    Excellent article. Keep writing such kind of information on your blog.
    Im really impressed by it.
    Hello there, You’ve done an excellent job. I will certainly
    digg it and individually suggest to my friends.

    I’m confident they’ll be benefited from this site.

  22. Rita 8 August, 2017 at 23:11 Reply

    Fantastic blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own site soon but I’m a little
    lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for
    a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m
    totally overwhelmed .. Any ideas? Bless you!

  23. having holiday travel 9 August, 2017 at 03:12 Reply

    I think this is among the most vital information for me.

    And i’m glad reading your article. But want to remark on few general things, The website style is
    wonderful, the articles is really excellent : D.

    Good job, cheers

  24. dating guidelines 9 August, 2017 at 23:46 Reply

    What i don’t understood is in fact how you are not actually much more
    neatly-favored than you may be now. You are so intelligent.
    You recognize therefore significantly with regards to this matter, made me
    personally imagine it from so many varied angles.
    Its like women and men are not involved unless it is
    one thing to accomplish with Woman gaga! Your
    individual stuffs great. All the time deal with it up!

  25. chief operating officer job description 10 August, 2017 at 03:41 Reply

    Wonderful goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you’re just too
    excellent. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you’re saying and the way in which you
    say it. You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it sensible.
    I cant wait to read far more from you. This is really a tremendous web site.

  26. temp.iraph-studios.com 12 August, 2017 at 08:43 Reply

    It’s perfect time to make a few plans for the long run and it’s time to be happy.
    I have learn this submit and if I may just I desire to recommend you some attention-grabbing things or tips.

    Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this
    article. I wish to read even more issues approximately it!

  27. traveling wilburys 12 August, 2017 at 16:45 Reply

    Does your site have a contact page? I’m having trouble locating it but, I’d like to
    shoot you an e-mail. I’ve got some suggestions for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
    Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it expand over time.

  28. halogen ovenmorningware 13 August, 2017 at 20:48 Reply

    When I originally commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment
    is added I recieve four emails with the same comment.
    There has to be an easy method you are able to remove me from that service?

    Many thanks!

  29. Itamar Serpa Fernandes 15 August, 2017 at 00:39 Reply

    Hi just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the images aren’t loading correctly.

    I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue.
    I’ve tried it in two different browsers and both show the
    same results.

  30. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLaTQYDclLpPo5Ep4Ki_uWg 15 August, 2017 at 15:04 Reply

    Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids. I found a
    sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.”
    She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside
    and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know
    this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  31. buying real 16 August, 2017 at 00:25 Reply

    Hi just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren’t loading properly.

    I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue.

    I’ve tried it in two different web browsers and both show
    the same outcome.

  32. James Frazer Mann 17 August, 2017 at 05:32 Reply

    Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thanks, However I am experiencing troubles with your RSS.
    I don’t know why I am unable to subscribe to it.
    Is there anybody else having identical RSS issues? Anyone that knows the solution can you kindly respond?

  33. Efren 17 August, 2017 at 20:53 Reply

    Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification appeared
    to be on the net the simplest thing to be aware of.
    I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while people think about worries that
    they just don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also
    defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal.
    Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  34. James Frazer-Mann 18 August, 2017 at 08:33 Reply

    Good day! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform
    are you using for this site? I’m getting sick and tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform.

    I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a
    good platform.

  35. menu sarapan anak 1 tahun 19 August, 2017 at 00:58 Reply

    Do you have a spam problem on this website;
    I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation; many of us have developed some nice methods and we are looking to
    swap techniques with others, be sure to shoot me an e-mail if

  36. James Frazer-Mann 19 August, 2017 at 21:02 Reply

    I am extremely inspired with your writing skills
    as neatly as with the structure to your blog. Is this a paid subject or did
    you customize it yourself? Either way stay up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare to look a great weblog like this
    one today..

  37. menu makan anak usia 1 tahun 21 August, 2017 at 05:40 Reply

    May I just say what a comfort to find an individual who really knows what they’re discussing
    on the net. You definitely understand how to bring a
    problem to light and make it important. More and more
    people really need to read this and understand this
    side of your story. I was surprised you’re not more popular because you surely possess
    the gift.

  38. augusto de arruda botelho 24 August, 2017 at 07:20 Reply

    Excellent post. I used to be checking constantly this weblog and I am impressed!
    Extremely helpful information specially the last section 🙂 I
    handle such information much. I used to be looking for this certain info for a long time.
    Thank you and good luck.

  39. augusto de arruda botelho 25 August, 2017 at 02:24 Reply

    Just desire to say your article is as astounding.
    The clearness in your post is simply great and i could assume you’re an expert on this subject.
    Fine with your permission allow me to grab your feed to keep up to date
    with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the rewarding work.

  40. Roma 26 August, 2017 at 10:46 Reply

    Asking questions are in fact fastidious thing if you are
    not understanding anything entirely, but this
    article presents fastidious understanding yet.

  41. personal loan providers 30 August, 2017 at 16:37 Reply

    I have been surfing online more than 3 hours lately, yet I by no means discovered any fascinating article like yours.
    It’s pretty price enough for me. In my view, if all
    web owners and bloggers made good content material as you did, the
    net will be a lot more helpful than ever before.

  42. real estate 30 August, 2017 at 21:46 Reply

    Hey! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with
    Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results.

    If you know of any please share. Thank you!

  43. personal loan providers 5 September, 2017 at 02:13 Reply

    Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this blog.

    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s very difficult
    to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and visual appeal.

    I must say that you’ve done a superb job with this. Additionally, the
    blog loads extremely quick for me on Chrome. Excellent Blog!

  44. interest rates 8 September, 2017 at 22:27 Reply

    I’m really loving the theme/design of your blog. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility issues?

    A number of my blog audience have complained about my website not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great
    in Firefox. Do you have any advice to help fix this problem?

  45. 10 things you need to know about chuck norris 9 September, 2017 at 02:49 Reply

    First of all I want to say wonderful blog!

    I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
    I was curious to find out how you center yourself and
    clear your mind before writing. I’ve had a tough time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out there.
    I truly do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted just trying
    to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or tips? Kudos!

  46. Lakeisha 9 September, 2017 at 20:55 Reply

    Hey! This post couldn’t be written any better!
    Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking
    about this. I will forward this post to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read.
    Thanks for sharing!

  47. place macau tourism 17 September, 2017 at 03:06 Reply

    Excellent post. I was checking continuously this blog and I’m impressed!
    Very useful information particularly the last part 🙂 I care for
    such information a lot. I was looking for this particular info for
    a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.

  48. Andy 1 October, 2017 at 03:00 Reply

    I go to see each day a few web sites and information sites
    to read articles or reviews, except this weblog provides quality based content.

  49. More Bonuses 31 January, 2018 at 17:06 Reply

    I just want to mention I’m all new to weblog and truly enjoyed your page. Likely I’m going to bookmark your blog . You surely come with perfect articles. Thank you for sharing your blog.

  50. dubturbo free 6 February, 2018 at 07:13 Reply

    I was wondering should you ever considered transforming the design on the blog? It is effectively written; I adore the things you have to say. Though you may have could a little more in terms of content therefore people could hook up with it greater. You have an awful lot of wording only for having 1 or 2 graphics. Perhaps you could space against eachother greater? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74A-RD7spNY

  51. florida short term health insurance 17 February, 2018 at 02:30 Reply

    howdy and thank you for your information – I had surely found something totally new here. I did on the other hand expertise a couple of technical factors use of this site, simply because I experienced to reload the website numerous conditions earlier than I’ll only obtain it to load correctly. I have been considering if your web hosting is fine? Not that I am complaining, and yet slow loading instances will sometimes influence your placement in google that will ruin your high quality standing if advertising with Adwords. In any case I am adding this RSS to my e-mail and might check much more of your adequate amazing posts. Ensure that you update this once more very soon..

  52. Florida Real Estate 17 February, 2018 at 14:08 Reply

    I am not sure where you’re getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for fantastic information I was looking for this info for my mission.

  53. Virginia Movers 28 February, 2018 at 10:06 Reply

    Hi there! A friend at my Myspace community shown this great site here then I went to look it over. I undoubtedly enjoy the details. I am bookmarking and tweeting this advice to my followers! Useful blog and outstanding design and style.

  54. afterguard.co 8 March, 2018 at 04:39 Reply

    Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally,
    it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.
    You definitely know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us
    something enlightening to read?

  55. Houses For Sale 3 April, 2018 at 20:45 Reply

    Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Very useful information particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such information a lot. I was seeking this certain information for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.

  56. where to buy bitcoin with cash 12 April, 2018 at 16:29 Reply

    When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thank you!

  57. health news 9 May, 2018 at 18:11 Reply

    I am so happy to read this. This is the kind of manual that needs to be given and not the accidental misinformation that’s at the other blogs. Appreciate your sharing this best doc.

  58. business manager 17 May, 2018 at 15:42 Reply

    Good web site! I really love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I’m wondering how I might be notified when a new post has been made. I’ve subscribed to your RSS feed which must do the trick! Have a great day!

  59. pool 17 June, 2018 at 03:34 Reply

    Somebody necessarily assist to make severely articles I might state. That is the first time I frequented your website page and thus far? I surprised with the research you made to make this particular submit extraordinary. Wonderful activity!

  60. vitamins 26 June, 2018 at 14:14 Reply

    I in addition to my friends were found to be looking through the nice ideas located on your site while immediately developed a terrible feeling I had not thanked the web blog owner for those techniques. All the young men became certainly warmed to read them and have now in truth been tapping into them. I appreciate you for turning out to be well kind and then for going for varieties of remarkable subject matter millions of individuals are really needing to understand about. Our own sincere regret for not expressing gratitude to you earlier.

  61. click for more 5 August, 2018 at 22:54 Reply

    I simply want to mention I am just newbie to weblog and truly savored you’re page. Almost certainly I’m planning to bookmark your blog post . You definitely have amazing writings. Appreciate it for sharing your blog.

Post a new comment