I have a small confession for you all here today:
During each of my three pregnancies, there is only one thing that I wanted most in the world, through the months of morning sickness, swollen feet, and backache.
I wanted to be pampered.
Yes, I know women are supposed to have it all and do it all and pregnancy is obviously not an illness that should hold us back from anything, ever! But still, can I just admit honestly that for me…
Pregnancy is hard.
Perhaps I’m just a whiny, self-indulgent individual, but through my collective 2 and 1/2 years of growing human beings, I hoped against hope for just a little extra pampering from my husband.
Sometimes I got it. But mostly, I didn’t.
So, for you ladies that still have a chance with your men, here’s my guide to getting a little extra pampering during your pregnancies. Because I don’t care what the hair commercials say–pregnancy deserves it.
1. Ask for what you want. Sure, this one sounds simple, but how many of us yearn for our husbands or partners to just know what we want without us having to ask? And while I completely understand that wish, because it’s how many of our love languages operate, I also know that to many men, pregnant wives are creatures of mystery, so unless you tell him, he’s not thinking about it.
2. Can’t reach your feet? No problem! Here’s the perfect opportunity for you man to show his nurturing side–ask him for a helping hand in painting your toes. You’ll probably have a great time laughing about it and by the end, you’ll have a nice little at-home man manicure.
3. Ask for a massage. I love massages. I would get one every day if I had the money to make that happen. And although I can’t always beg my husband for a massage every night like I want to, when I’m pregnant, it’s always a good time to ask. Because let’s face it, everything always hurts when you’re pregnant.
4. Don’t be so good at everything. This one might sound silly, but bear with me. Since you’ve gotten pregnant, have you changes your routine at all? Are you still up at the crack of dawn, working out, working hard, coming home, making dinner, cooking, and cleaning? Or, if you have young kids at home, are you still running around, taking care of the house, and making Pin-worthy crafts? Woman, give yourself a break! It can be hard for us to let anything drop off of our radars, but let your man help out more during the months of your pregnancy. It’s a way for him to help you (since he can’t exactly be pregnant) and for you to feel closer to him. Win-win.
5. Don’t feel guilty. This one was major for me. I was so focused on proving that pregnancy wouldn’t slow me down and that I could be a supermom that – quite frankly – I was exhausted. I struggled with feelings of guilt during my pregnancy about wishing my husband would help me more or snuggle with me more. But you know what? A happy mom is a good mom, so lose the guilt.
Please note: Realize no two couples are the same. Just as no two pregnancies are the same, every relationship dynamic is different. I may have begrudged a girl in my mom’s group whose husband rubbed her feet daily and did all the cooking and cleaning, but the point is–we are not them. Just because your man is a little less pampering during pregnancy doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t care for your and your baby. That being said however, don’t be afraid to speak up and let him know you need a bit more lovin.’