One of the central things that I try to address with parents of adolescents and preteens, is I try to remind mothers, that the love relationship between a mother and a son, is the most difficult relationship there is.
The most intense relationship there is, only for this reason; the goal is separation. It’s an odd thing to think about. But as our son’s are taking their first steps, they are taking their steps away from mom; into school, into college, into their first love relationship, and into fatherhood.
Often times — and maybe this is stereotypical — different for women, in the sense that, what is the saying? “Your daughter is your daughter for life. Your son is your son until he takes a wife.” It is a very necessary move away, at 12 or 13, from the protective and nurturing arms of mom; and a guidance and supportive relationship that needs to happen; which means that death needs to occur.
Simultaneously, is that deep, deep knowledge that our mothers, our the seers. So there’s that tension that grows exponentially around adolescence and teen, when are children are trying to become more independent. They want to become independent from mom.