I was driving from the gym listening to Whitney Houston’s song “I didn’t know my own strength”. As I sang along trying to hit those high notes only Whitney could, the lyrics started to sink down into my mind.
“I didn’t know my own strength, I crashed and I crumbled but I did not stumble”
As Whitney sang those words I began to think of life and its never-ending relationship with pain. I thought of the many people who had called me over the years about certain issues that seemed life threatening at that time, and how somehow they made it through.
Why is it that the universe gives surprises that seem unbearable? And if the universe knows that we will eventually make it past these hurdles, why doesn’t it ever send us clues, affirming it’s love for mind games?
As Whitney sang on;
“Thought it would be the end of me, I thought I’d never make it through, I had no hope to hold on to, I thought I would break”
I started to think of emotional pain, as I believe it’s probably the most difficult kind of pain.
Most times there isn’t any remedy, and people say time will heal your pain; sometimes the doctor called Time, doesn’t work as quickly as we want.
This pain leaves you clueless on what to do next or where to start from; all of a sudden you’re feeling like life’s victim and remembering all the things that should have worked out that didn’t.
It’s weird that I can’t remember the first time I experienced this kind of pain. What I do remember is how once in a long time when I feel this kind of pain, I tell myself “never again”.
This means, never again will I hurt like this. Never again will I put myself in a position that will bring this hurt, and never again will the universe cause me this much sorrow. Because I guess that we believe that if we make up our minds that we will never be in such positions of hurt again, it’s easier to make it out alive.
But, it happens again and you get over it, and you keep getting over each hurt because that’s life.
In my few years on earth, I’ve been fortunate (or unfortunate
depends on how you see it) to see people go through some faith shaking situations. And they cried and they complained, they got angry and even dared to be bitter towards heaven. And in that moment, the pain felt unbearable and some even contemplated suicide because they thought they weren’t built for the surprises that come with living.
Seeing such people smile again and survive those times Whitney described as “the darkest hour”, I’ve come to a conclusion that the heart can handle anything thrown at it.
We underestimate just how much we can handle; we underestimate the resources placed inside of us. We forget that life cannot overwhelm us because we were built for it. Our hearts were built to survive every pain, every delay, all issues of life.
Do not let anyone tell you that you are weak, or that you aren’t strong enough or good enough because you are. Do not run away from mountains, because you were born to climb them. You were made for this thing called life
You will not die on the battlefield, you will keep fighting, you will meet mountains and people and decisions that will threaten to take out your whole existence and some days it will feel like these people or situations have won. And you will cry and you will complain and sometimes will be pushed to question the heavens but you will survive.
You will survive each hurt, each disappointment you will survive it, and you will take the lessons from each of these and turn it into battle tools as you journey on, because your heart was made for this.
The best part is, you will look back and marvel at how everything fell in place at its own time. You will smile, because through the hurt you were able to find yourself and strength.
Darling, never underestimate how tough you are. You will need strength for the battle and it’s on your inside! You simply have to tap into it. Look at all the things you’ve overcome already, and you’re still here fighting because your heart can handle everything that comes with living.
About Debbie Larry-Izamoje