I have watched so many relationships where power is in one person’s hands; where control over the relationship and the other person is more important than any other emotion. The concepts of love and respect, courtesy and consideration are nowhere to be found. The concept of partner equality was nowhere to be found.
Equality and respect in our relationships is an absolute must. We need to create the conditions for that to happen. We need to come to the relationship ready to be a partner.
How can you do this?
- Know yourself. Know what traits matter to you in another person. Traits like loyalty, respect, trust, honesty, intelligence, humor, curiosity. Know what your deal breakers are. Relationships require care and attention; it is best to start with someone who is has traits that matter.
- Don’t settle. If you get the sense or know that the relationship is not working, don’t convince yourself it is. Compatibility is very important to relationship longevity. As hard as it may seem, being alone is always better than being disrespected.
- Have self-respect and integrity. Create boundaries for yourself that you are unwilling to negotiate. Only you can decide what your boundaries are. Create your boundaries with the best thoughts of yourself and what you believe you deserve.
- A healthy relationship is based upon mutual appreciation, mutual respect.Degradation, belittling, abuse never belong in a relationship. If you find that you are on the receiving end of any kind of inappropriate behavior, seek counseling and an end to the relationship. Never ever allow yourself to believe that you are at fault for being a recipient of abuse.
- You complete yourself. You want someone who is your partner – your equal – and who adds to your healthy sense of who you are. If you are looking for some emotional need to be met by another person, you set yourself up for disappointment and an imbalance of power. Never expect someone else to complete you.
Relationships are hard work, but being treated as a vital participant is worth it. We all deserve healthy love, and uplifting and joyful experiences. We should expect to be an equal partner, deserving of respect. Respect is the foundation of all good things. Allow yourself the opportunity to discover all that a relationship can be – with your self-esteem and value leading the way.